1. Binge-watching the shows that you’re really embarrassed to love, but which you love more than you imagine you will love your own children some day.
2. Ordering a pizza with exactly the toppings you want, ecstatically counting down the minutes until the delivery man arrives, and reveling in the knowledge that you don’t have to share a single slice with anyone.
3. Proceeding to eat said pizza with the kind of abandon you only allow yourself when no one is there to watch/judge you.
4. Turning on your favorite music and spending a whole afternoon cleaning and re-organizing all your stuff to be exactly the way you want it, and getting all the satisfaction at the end of a job well done.
5. Going to a new city and spending the whole day walking around, just deciding where you want to eat for dinner that night. Looking in the window of every restaurant — reading (or painstakingly translating) the menus, and crossing them off the list one by one.
6. Working out, because you don’t need a bunch of randos around you to throw off your swag by judging the way you improperly use the stair machine. An empty gym is one of god’s little gifts to sweaty people who are trying to get into shape but aren’t so good at it yet.
7. Sitting by a window as it’s raining outside and you are curled up with a mug of tea and a book (or a glass of wine and your laptop, because let’s be real, we can’t be a Tumblr post every day of our lives).
8. Speaking of wine, drinking the better part of a bottle by yourself in front of your computer and progressively laughing louder and louder at random shit on the internet until you are basically yelling at your computer screen out of incoherent joy.
9. Coming home after a night out with a bunch of friends and listening to the songs you are really obsessed right now, and just kind of reveling in the awesome feeling of your music in your headphones, with no one there to fuck it up by talking over the good parts.
10. Honing your dance moves in your bedroom mirror before you unleash them on the club/bar dance floor.
11. Going to a movie in the middle of a weekend afternoon that you know full-well is going to make you cry, and being able to ugly sob because no one else is around you to feel self-conscious about.
12. Going for a long walk in a pretty park with changing trees, where you don’t have to make conversation, and can just kind of appreciate how beautiful nature is (and maybe listen to Enya’s ‘A Day Without Rain’ album if you want to connect with the wood sprites or whatever).
13. Browsing a museum whilst wearing a really adorable “going to the museum outfit” that makes you look at once attractive and thoughtful, and will totally catch the eye of the hot dude who is also lingering over that Yves Klein that you both know is absurd.
14. Imitating the YouTube hair/makeup tutorials that you’ve always wanted to try but which you know are going to yield disappointing results in practice that you don’t actually want anyone to witness.
15. Going to a bookstore and getting one of those big-ass chairs at the end of the row so you can intimately browse like a dozen books before choosing the Precious that will eventually come home with you, and you don’t have to worry about someone audibly sighing so you will hurry up to another store.
16. Going to a makeup store and allowing yourself the time to get one of those makeovers done where they show you how to use the products once and for all, and you can get the stuff that actually matches your complexion/facial structure, instead of just blindly feeling around for what looks like it won’t cause acne.
17. Sitting yourself down in the back of a cafe and forcing yourself to work on a writing project that you’ve been delaying for months, because you know that if you don’t dedicate a specific time to doing it, it will never get done and you’ll always hate yourself for it.
18. Re-watching some of the old movies you loved as a kid/teenager while curled up in your bed with a couple of snacks.
19. Eating in your bed in general, because no one needs to be aware of how much of a hot mess you look, sprinkled in the crumbs of your Hot Fries and sporting a double chin from looking down at your computer screen.
20. Having sex, because sometimes, when you want it done right, you just have to do it yourself. (This is not to say that your partner can’t do it right, or doesn’t do it right, simply that sometimes you want that secret blend of herbs and spices that only you, the Colonel, know how to put together.)
21. Lying in bed and having a lazy morning where you don’t have to get up for work, you don’t have to rush out to meet anyone, and you have no plans for the rest of the day. You can just relax, listen to the sounds on the street, and think about how nice it is to be by yourself every once in a while, in a world that doesn’t seem to leave you alone.
Regarding option 20, hmmmm………….make sure it isn’t illegal, kids.
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